In this article, I’ll delve into how to navigate life’s disruptions and how harnessing the power of emotions can lead to transformative growth.
Join me for a conversation with Linda Rossetti below, and discover some invaluable insights from her pioneering research. If you’re curious about Linda’s transformative process called HAIL™, reach out to me, and I’ll demonstrate HAIL™ in action for you!
Unlocking Emotions as “Oracles, not Obstacles”
In society, we’re often conditioned to suppress our emotions, fearing they might indicate weakness or vulnerability. However, according to Linda Rossetti, emotions can “Serve as an oracle, not an obstacle, to our success”. They can be pivotal during times of upheaval and disruption in our lives.
Major disruptions or transitions, such as divorce, job loss, or health scares, can be viewed in two ways – negatively or as an invitation for transformational growth. I experienced a significant career shift years ago and chose to redefine my narrative. Instead of seeing it as a setback, I saw it as an invitation to shift my thinking about my sense of self – who was I, really, and what did I really want?
Are you currently navigating a similar transition in your life? Perhaps you’ve made changes in the hope of a quick fix. I certainly did! Initially, I believed that climbing the corporate ladder within my company would solve everything. But soon, I realized that this approach wouldn’t address the root cause.
Change vs Transition:
Change involves tweaking the details of our lives, like altering jobs, hairstyles, or relocating. These changes yield known outcomes. If, on the other hand, we welcome transition into our lives – we actually begin to “re-examine our assumptions about who we are and how we make meaning in this world. It is always a choice.”(1)
As Linda describes in her latest book, Dancing With Disruption, you can think of the analogy of a mountain trail. Horizontal trails encircle the mountain, offering no elevation gain—akin to the effects of change, where we opt for another go-around on our horizontal loops.
In contrast, vertical trails lead us to greater heights. If we choose transition, we ascend higher up the mountain like those vertical trails – and we can achieve transformative growth in the process.
The HAIL™ Emotional Reframing Technique:
I’ve been trained in the powerful emotional reframing technique called HAIL™, which empowers us to respond differently to life’s transitions. Instead of ignoring our emotions, we honor them and ask questions that provide new meaning and facilitate personal growth.
Let me illustrate with a personal example: When I thought I’d pursue other roles in my same industry believing I would be more fulfilled, I applied for a more senior position in my same company. Fully expecting to land the job after being told I was perfect for it; you can imagine my shock when I was told I didn’t get the “job of my dreams”. Of course, many emotions came up for me as a result.
If I was to name the emotion which was most prevalent to me at the time, it would be Shock. By Honoring its presence and naming it, I can begin to understand why Shock was present at that moment.
The next step is to Ask – why did I experience this emotion at the time? What did this emotion mean to me?I realized that shock was present because I fully expected and believed that the job was mine and didn’t even entertain the belief that I wouldn’t get it.
The next step is to ask, how does this emotion Influence me? The initial shock turned to questions such as, “did I do something wrong?”, “was it my fault?”, “maybe I’m not good enough for this role – maybe they were right”. Thoughts of self-doubt and loss of confidence can set in as we reflect on how emotions influence us.
Finally, we can ask ourselves, what might this emotion be trying to teach us? What can we Learn from the presence of this emotion? When I asked myself this, the initial shock turned to questioning – why did this happen? Did I actually truly want this job, or was it just expected of me? This questioning led me to realize that indeed, this was not what I wanted!
This disruption in my life actually led me to re-examine who I was. It turned out to be a transformative gift, which led me to pursue a whole new vertical path! This disruption allowed me to re-examine my identity and choose a path more aligned with my truth.
Are You Facing a Disruption?
If you’re currently dealing with a life disruption, questioning your identity or future path, consider the emotions you’re experiencing and what they can teach you.
Disruptions are a normal part of adult life, and your response to them is what matters. You can opt for change, leading to known outcomes, or choose transition, the foundation of transformative growth. Along the way, honor your emotions, as they serve as important guides on our path towards true fulfillment!
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If you found this information valuable and would like to dive deeper into these tools and processes, let’s have a conversation!
I invite you to book a free, no-obligation call with me here. Let’s get started on your journey of transformation today!
You can visit my website for more information. Remember – If not now, when?
Finally, learn more about my upcoming Group Coaching Program here.
References:
- Women In Transition , Linda Rossetti, 2015
- Dancing With Disruption, Linda Rossetti, 2023
